Let's get real
I recall back at the birth of this blog David said that we were going to be getting into some real, tough, life issues. It’s about time we get to it, and since you all haven’t brought it up, I guess I’ll take the first step.
I want to talk about something that my friends and I are dealing with, and I assume you are too – premarital sex. Yes, I said it: sex. I feel I’ve got the edge up on this topic since I’m like you guys; premarital, a.k.a. unmarried, free, single and ready to mingle. The other leaders – David, Dayna, Dan, and Justin - they don’t have to worry about this issue for themselves anymore; they’re married. I’m certain they had to deal with it back in their pre-marital days, but those are just distant memories for those guys. ;-)
Back in the old days of elementary school and early junior high years when I was grossed out by boys and disenchanted with a sex-obsessed world I used to sit in my room and wonder why all the songs on the radio talked about sex, knockin the boots, getting freaky. Things haven’t changed a bit. I’ve changed, but our society is still focused on sex; more so today than ever before. Sex sells everything, and you’ve seen it. When I’m driving on the freeway and I see a billboard for Coors featuring a group of scantily clad young adults, I jokingly think to myself, “Gee, could I be that gorgeous and popular and having that much fun if I drank Coors Light?” We know that’s not true at all, but that is the subliminal message they’re trying to get across. Why would anyone buy beer advertised by old, ugly, obese people? I’m sure you’ve also seen the TV ads for Victoria’s Secret. How can young men not lust after the perfect, nearly naked bodies of those models when it’s being shoved in their faces during prime time TV? The Internet is chock full of pornography, sleazy people, and inappropriate material. You can’t control what you’re exposed to sometimes. Once when I was at work, I got a porno pop-up ad on a completely non-porn, innocent website! I couldn’t believe it. There was no way that I could have foreseen that or prevented it from occurring. This society of ours does not help us to maintain pure thoughts and attitudes.
I believe I was in Junior High when I took a vow under a national movement called True Love Waits. I made a promise to God, myself, my parents, and my future spouse to remain abstinent until marriage. What I’ve been thinking about recently is the difference in attitudes regarding males and females. My parents encouraged me to participate in the True Love Waits movement/promise, but they did not do the same for my younger brother. I wonder why? What’s with the double standard?
Back to my friends and I… We were discussing the trends among young people today. Sexual purity seems to be a thing of the past. A lot of people I grew up with in church have thrown aside the Biblical idea of waiting until marriage to have sex. A friend of mine said, “So many things have changed throughout the history of Christianity. Maybe it’s time to change the way we view premarital sex too.” For example, some early Christians believed that dancing, birth control and women wearing pants were sinful acts. I think it’s safe to say that we don’t believe those to be sins in this day and age, at least not at WCF. My friend argues that because our society is different from that of our Grandparents’ and parents’ times, when most people got married and had kids at 18 or 19, we should change our ideas about sex. These days it is not uncommon for people to wait until their late 20s or even late 30s to be married. This poses the question: Does God expect me to remain a virgin until I’m 30 if that’s how old I am when I get married? How can I control my hormones for THAT LONG?! I’m sure you guys were thinking YOU had difficulties controlling your hormones… Well, it doesn’t get any easier. Hormones are forever. LOL. Self control is definitely a struggle for everyone; young and old.
So, let’s discuss this. What do you guys think? What does the Bible say? Does that still apply today? What is God saying to you about this? Feel free to share off the top of your heads. Feel free to look through your Bible, share your family’s morals/the way your parents raised you. Do some research in your heart, on the Internet, the dictionary, Wikipedia. Talk to your parents, friends, siblings. Do you think that the views of Christians ARE changing? Do you think our attitudes SHOULD change? If you don’t get married until you’re 40, does God want you to be a virgin until then? How can we protect ourselves; guard our hearts and our minds? How can we encourage each other and keep each other accountable in our struggles to remain pure in both thought and action? Are you struggling with this too? Do you have questions that you want to ask?
Since this is somewhat of a private/sensitive topic, feel free to leave your comments and questions anonymously.
I want to talk about something that my friends and I are dealing with, and I assume you are too – premarital sex. Yes, I said it: sex. I feel I’ve got the edge up on this topic since I’m like you guys; premarital, a.k.a. unmarried, free, single and ready to mingle. The other leaders – David, Dayna, Dan, and Justin - they don’t have to worry about this issue for themselves anymore; they’re married. I’m certain they had to deal with it back in their pre-marital days, but those are just distant memories for those guys. ;-)
Back in the old days of elementary school and early junior high years when I was grossed out by boys and disenchanted with a sex-obsessed world I used to sit in my room and wonder why all the songs on the radio talked about sex, knockin the boots, getting freaky. Things haven’t changed a bit. I’ve changed, but our society is still focused on sex; more so today than ever before. Sex sells everything, and you’ve seen it. When I’m driving on the freeway and I see a billboard for Coors featuring a group of scantily clad young adults, I jokingly think to myself, “Gee, could I be that gorgeous and popular and having that much fun if I drank Coors Light?” We know that’s not true at all, but that is the subliminal message they’re trying to get across. Why would anyone buy beer advertised by old, ugly, obese people? I’m sure you’ve also seen the TV ads for Victoria’s Secret. How can young men not lust after the perfect, nearly naked bodies of those models when it’s being shoved in their faces during prime time TV? The Internet is chock full of pornography, sleazy people, and inappropriate material. You can’t control what you’re exposed to sometimes. Once when I was at work, I got a porno pop-up ad on a completely non-porn, innocent website! I couldn’t believe it. There was no way that I could have foreseen that or prevented it from occurring. This society of ours does not help us to maintain pure thoughts and attitudes.
I believe I was in Junior High when I took a vow under a national movement called True Love Waits. I made a promise to God, myself, my parents, and my future spouse to remain abstinent until marriage. What I’ve been thinking about recently is the difference in attitudes regarding males and females. My parents encouraged me to participate in the True Love Waits movement/promise, but they did not do the same for my younger brother. I wonder why? What’s with the double standard?
Back to my friends and I… We were discussing the trends among young people today. Sexual purity seems to be a thing of the past. A lot of people I grew up with in church have thrown aside the Biblical idea of waiting until marriage to have sex. A friend of mine said, “So many things have changed throughout the history of Christianity. Maybe it’s time to change the way we view premarital sex too.” For example, some early Christians believed that dancing, birth control and women wearing pants were sinful acts. I think it’s safe to say that we don’t believe those to be sins in this day and age, at least not at WCF. My friend argues that because our society is different from that of our Grandparents’ and parents’ times, when most people got married and had kids at 18 or 19, we should change our ideas about sex. These days it is not uncommon for people to wait until their late 20s or even late 30s to be married. This poses the question: Does God expect me to remain a virgin until I’m 30 if that’s how old I am when I get married? How can I control my hormones for THAT LONG?! I’m sure you guys were thinking YOU had difficulties controlling your hormones… Well, it doesn’t get any easier. Hormones are forever. LOL. Self control is definitely a struggle for everyone; young and old.
So, let’s discuss this. What do you guys think? What does the Bible say? Does that still apply today? What is God saying to you about this? Feel free to share off the top of your heads. Feel free to look through your Bible, share your family’s morals/the way your parents raised you. Do some research in your heart, on the Internet, the dictionary, Wikipedia. Talk to your parents, friends, siblings. Do you think that the views of Christians ARE changing? Do you think our attitudes SHOULD change? If you don’t get married until you’re 40, does God want you to be a virgin until then? How can we protect ourselves; guard our hearts and our minds? How can we encourage each other and keep each other accountable in our struggles to remain pure in both thought and action? Are you struggling with this too? Do you have questions that you want to ask?
Since this is somewhat of a private/sensitive topic, feel free to leave your comments and questions anonymously.
posted by Julie at 8:10 AM
2 Comments:
This is definitely a huge topic in Christian circles and in our society in general. The way people seemed to deal with this issue while I was at Westmont (a Christian college) was to tell everyone they were waiting until marriage but secretly have sex with their boyfriend or girlfriend. Everyone had the intention of waiting until they were married but I don't think they knew how to do it. Most of the time this topic gets swept under the rug after you have been told to wait until you are married. But the reality is, it is really hard. Thank you Julie for bringing this topic up. I think it is important to talk about.
Why does God tell us that sex is meant to be in a married relationship? The reason I focused on before I got married was the damage that any sexual acts do to your heart, emotions and future relationships. When you engage with someone in this way you are very vulnerable and are in a sense giving them a piece of your trust and yourself. When that relationship ends the person takes that piece of you with them and it is really hard to build that piece of yourself back up again.
Other thoughts??
Well, it looks like no one is writing anything, so I’ll just say this:
I personally feel that what the Bible says about waiting until marriage is the best in most logical ways: health, mental, emotional, etc… And I think what the previous poster said is true, however I don’t agree with abstinence promises. I don’t think promises should be made to God. You don’t ever know 100% what will happen in your life, and breaking a promise with God doesn’t sound very good.
But yes, I believe waiting until marriage is best, in all ways.
P.S. You may be interested to know the magazine “GLAMOUR” (the current February 2007 issue) has an article regarding “Abstinence Balls”, (that’s ball as in party) on page 226. Unfortunately, I find their confused, atheist views disturbing to me… …oh well, nonetheless, it’s a view as to how the world thinks teens should live versus our Christian views…
Here is a picture of the article: http://img401.imageshack.us/my.php?image=scan009ew6.jpg
Post a Comment
<< Home